Jun 15, 2020
You’ve probably heard it said
that “running is therapy.” Though we push back HARD against that
idea, therapy is our therapy and nothing else comes close, we can
see where this comes from.
We see our running buddies every
Saturday and rarely socialize in between. Most of my running
friends have never met my colleagues, my coworkers, my spouse or my
friends outside the running community. They exist totally
I tell you that to tell you
THIS: conversations can get DEEP on long runs. The lack of
connection to the rest of our lives means we can be more ourselves,
speak more freely, talk more openly. It is a
safe place to ask dangerous questions. What is said on a run, stays on a run...so we
thought it would be fun to host some of these free, TMI
conversations on the podcast, covering topics as well as details
that wouldn’t be appropriate to share anywhere else.
We are kicking off this series
with one of our Sponsored Athletes, who also happens to be my
running buddy, Kade, who is 9 months into his gender transition. It
won’t take long to see why we’re friends- we are both loud, proud,
and outspoken AF. When Kade posted about his new appendage arriving
in the mail, my clients had QUESTIONS. Then, I realized I had
questions, too; we hadn’t run together in awhile so we hadn’t yet a
direct conversation about his transition. Kade, amazingly, agreed
to have that conversation on our podcast.
Come on now, you KNOW you’re
curious! Get ready to be a fly on the wall for this amazing
conversation where we learn everything I’ve ever wanted to know
about Kade’s transition, questions I would only ever ask him on a
run; which frankly is the only time and place for my totally
ignorant and taboo questions, like, “do you ACTUALLY have a D^ck in
a box?” and “is it like...a neuticle?”
Note: We want to be
exceptionally clear: the purpose of this podcast isn’t shock value,
but there will be a lot of talk about anatomy. We are not
exploiting Kade to expand our audience, we are trying to draw our
audience closer to one of our Sponsored
Athletes. All of
the questions have been filtered by the team, and I’m proud to say
nothing really needed to be edited, softened or changed. We have a
really amazing community, and I’m proud that Kade is a part of
Questions from MK
- OH MY
GOD YOU ARE GONNA HAVE A PEE PIPE!
it’s hard to know where to start- because I still fumble when I try
to talk about us in the past tense! Like, “you aren’t dead, but
you’re kinda like Voldemort! I can’t say your old
name! When I slip, and
we both know I do, does it hurt your feelings or make you not want
to talk to me?
is it like “deadnaming”?
you give us a brief rundown on you, then tell us how would you
describe yourself at the time we met?
- You’re the most confident human either of us
have known, so this didn’t make sense to us, it really surprised
us. To be clear: we love you and support you 100%, we just didn’t
see this coming. Was it just us? Have others been surprised, or
admitted they were surprised?
us a bit about your gender journey (is that how we describe it?)
Because when we met, you struck me as SO sure of yourself. I
realize the parts of you that I LOVE won’t be affected by the
transition, how do you feel about the parts that ARE
- Looking back, its hard to think that wasn’t
100% you, so how are you more you, now?
once you realized it was time to transition, what does that look
like? Is there an infographic, is it case by case? How did you
decide where to start and what to do?
surgeries do you NOT want to do and why?
surgeries are the most important and why?
transition has prompted some DEEP conversations with my therapist!
I generally speaking don’t feel safe around white men! It took
FOREVER to get there with my husband. I’m still working out how
your pee-pipe will change our relationship….how do you think it
will change us? How is it changing your other female
is it changing your male friendships?
is your best day ever, has it come yet or when will it
can I, as your friend, I as the founder of a media company with a
platform, and everyone listening, support you as well as the
Questions from FPP Clients
MK pressure you into this? Why did you say yes, did you feel like
you could say no?
has FPP made you feel #coachedandloved?
running helped through your transition?
post a LOT about your t-shots. How do those feel, and what’s the
recovery like? (separate, similar question): my son has type1
diabetes and has to give himself injections, is this anything like
that? Are you injecting into your muscles or do you have to find a
vein and change location each time?
Kade recall any reactions to his transition that were
well-intended, but hurt his feelings? Or can good intentions make
up for a stumble?
we greatly appreciate your openness about your experiences.
It seems like people have a wide range of comfort levels with what
they are willing to discuss. How is the best way to determine
what’s appropriate to talk about with people in our social circle
who may be transitioning.
cannot wait to hear more from Kade! I think it's so important to
hear other perspectives. My question is what are the phases of
transition and what happens during each phase. I'm hoping to better
understand the journey and the struggles at each phase (I'm
assuming each phase has a different struggle but could be wrong!)
And what I could do to help support someone who is struggling!
Thank you Kade for being so open and honest for us
- A lot
of emphasis is put in the media on labels and pronouns. When
we meet someone who we aren’t sure whether they are a male or
female how is the best way to handle this respectfully if we are in
a situation where typically a label or pronoun would be
- What’s the difference between gender fluid,
gender non conforming, and transgendered?? How is this different
from being a male or female who prefers things that might not be
typical in the cultural archetype (I.e tomboy or boy who dances or
does flag team?)
does Kade identify his sexuality currently and did this change when
he began to transition.
does dating work as person who is transgendered. Do you tell
potential dates that you are transgendered before you have a date,
on the first date, etc?
said his appendage came in the mail (I.e prosthetic penis), will it
mentioned this upcoming podcast to my neighbors because to them
there is nothing off limits in any conversation and I thought they
would have some good questions...and they did! I know Kade is
having his top surgery, but they were interested in learning more
about bottom surgery if Kade can give more information on
you sure you want a penis as a runner?? I mean there jock rot and
ball chafe, wearing cups, why would you want that mess?
that you can’t change the underlying chromosomes that caused you to
be born with female anatomy, do you think changing the outward
appearance of your anatomy will clear your gender discomfort or do
you think you will have feeling of discomfort even though you are
living as a male?
seems to be some debate about whether health insurance should cover
transition surgeries as a necessary medical procedure or if it is
self covered as a cosmetic procedure. Are your surgeries
covered and could you speak to why or why not they should be
- Follow up - from my reading some people say
that the procedures should be covered because the surgery will
treat the extreme psychological discomfort that having the opposite
sex parts causes to a person who is transgendered has. How is
this discomfort different or more valid that the extreme discomfort
caused by a biological woman who wants breast implants because her
AAA breast’s cause her to feel not like a woman or someone who has
extreme discomfort of because of other body features, birth marks,
Kade have any advice for parents raising children in our very
of the proceeds from our Pride line will
benefit Project Semicolon,
the organization that supported our Sponsored Athlete Kade